Just Wondering…

When did the phrase “hooked up” turn into meaning sex? I’m in my mid-thirties and newly single, so I’m not up to date on all the new lingo out there. Judging from the amount of acronyms I had to learn with texting I’m fairly confident that I’m way behind modern vernacular altogether. Having said that, when did people become so casual and carefree about sex that the phrase “We Hooked Up” morph into meaning actual sex?

I remember when it meant second base or maybe dry humping on the couch. Fuck!  I like second base.  Do people even do that anymore?

I polled a few of my friends on when hooking up turned into meaning sex and here are the answers:

“Please don’t ask me these questions.” Understandable coming from a younger sibling.

“I don’t know. I would be in big trouble if I were single because it’s never meant sex to me.” At least some validation that the younger generation has indeed bastardized this once wholesome phrase.

“6 years ago”. I like this one. Very specific and it gives me a good sense of how long I’ve been out of the game.

“Haha. As long as I can remember.” Quickly followed by, “We’re all whores :).” And no, I didn’t add the smiley face (I did, however, make a mental note to take her out for a drink some time. You know, just in case I turn out to be wrong about this whole Hooked Up thing…).

“LOL I’m really not the one to ask because I’m amazingly naïve. I actually only found out a year ago that “watching a movie” meant “hooking up” which apparently is now sex. So haha thanks for catching me up”. Frankly, this one made me feel good to start, but then just ended up confusing me more.

And lastly (and perhaps my favorite) “What?!?! I thought it meant Oral!”

When I pushed as to why we have allowed sex to become so common that we Yada Yada a “Hooked Up” line nobody really had a clue. My favorite response was “I blame that Jersey Shore shit”.

I’m a guy. I get it. Sex is important. I’m not even against it early in a relationship. Like during appetizers.

But does it have to be so common? I think that’s the issue. Sex should be, at least in my myopic mind, the culmination of two people who really like (maybe even love) each other and them sharing an intimate, fun, and physical connection. That may take ten minutes to figure out or it could take ten years. It could be within a relationship or outside a relationship. None of that really matters to me. What matters most is that it’s somewhat special and it meant something. Not just another drunk Friday night. I mean, how good is that sex anyway?

I just think it’s missing something. I haven’t been with a ton of women, but since my relationships have typically lasted a long time, I’m pretty sure that I’ve had more actual sex than the people who have slept with a dozen other people. And I’ll go so far as to say it was better!

I had to work for it. Or, rather, I should say the WE had to work for it. Even for the times when it happened on the first date (yep, that’s actually happened) we had to work for it. There was a connection. An excitement. A tenderness. Butterflies even.

I’m not above the occasional mistake. I admit it. In fact, the mistakes are how I know that simply referring to sex as Hooking Up actually does a disservice to good sex.

I see people out there who have slept with a lot of people. You come up with whatever Magic Number you’re comfortable with, but once you start counting on your toes don’t be surprised if one of my eyebrows instinctively starts to rise. And I’m not judging. Seriously, I’m not. Go sleep with a hundred people for all I care. I mean, I may spray the toilet seat with Lysol if I see you coming out of the bathroom, but that’s as far as my judgment goes. This isn’t about morality. It’s actually about good sex and the defamation of the once proud saying of “We Hooked Up”.

Hooking Up has the innocent connotation of getting tangled up with someone on your way out to smoke a cigarette while maintaining an air of uncertainty and a healthy sense of romantic perversion. Call me old fashioned, but if you’re going around saying that you Hooked Up with someone you actually had sex with, then I feel kind of bad for you. I just don’t think anyone who cares about good sex would ever confuse Hooking Up for intercourse.

Besides. Dry humping on the couch is awesome and deserves to keep the title.