Home > WTF > Dissecting Frat Boy Style

Dissecting Frat Boy Style

I had hoped that this would have been a thing of the past by now, but my recent walk on a college campus has proved me wrong. I was on Georgia Tech’s campus, on my way to a restaurant when I saw it. Frat boy style is alive and well. I was hoping that this particular style of clothes, and frankly the attitude that typically accompanies them, would be safely only a blip in douchebag history, but there before me was a pink shirted, boat shoed row of dudes that I irrationally didn’t like as soon as I laid eyes on them.

There is a certain look that distinguishes the fratsters from the rest of the coeds. I would mostly describe it as “Country Club mixed with Yacht club with a side of rophenol.” College-wear style changes almost by the second, but this particular jam has been worn and is still worn consistently.

Let’s break it down:

Pastels

I don’t know why this color palette was chosen, but it seems to be Step One in acquiring the look. I suppose it has to do with the color scheme that was donned by people at country clubs, or as the frattiest of frat dudes refer to it just “the club.” For bros that have traditionally been known to be misogynistic they sure like to rock the hell out of some pink.

Croakies

In keeping with the whole “I have a boat” scheme you will almost never see one of these bros without croakies. (The little foam thing that keeps your sunglasses around your neck) The croakies must be well worn and nasty looking; they cannot be in pristine ‘never seen ocean time’ condition. There must also be dried sweat on them from that time you played 18 holes on the golf course or 18 holes with a goth chick you’re secretly banging and hiding from the brotherhood.

Boat shoes

Wear these shoes at all times. Winter. Rain. Church. Gay Club. Wait no, not there…. One thing though, never, ever wear socks along with these shoes. They must be disgusting and you must be able to smell them at all times otherwise they don’t count. They must look like you’ve actually worn them on a nautical vessel, even though the closest you’ve been to a yacht is pontoon rental you chipped in 25 bucks for last summer.

Hair:

The swoopier (I don’t know exactly how to describe it I guess swoopy fits?) the better; if you can flick your hair around and have most of it in your eyes, awesome. This will actually help you out when you’re hungover in class and need to sleep undetected.  It has to look like you didn’t spend any time on it, but in actuality you spend an inordinate time getting it to look perfectly undone. If it doesn’t look a certain way your day is JUST RUINED.

Bonus Round:

For extra points you must always have on you: a coozie, a pot of skoal that has been in your khakis so long there’s a ring on your back pocket, and a tattoo on your side that is supposed to mean ‘strength’ but in fact means picnic table. If you can also pull off a sport coat jacket with plaid or sear sucker shorts you will be a god among frat men.

Can we all agree this guy looks a little date rapey?

I have witnessed and heard about this Greek man uniform on campuses all over.  It’s interesting that so many guys would subscribe to such a strange style and seemingly stick with it no matter how they dressed when they first started matriculating at their universities.

I equate their clothes to the camouflage technique that zebras use when they are in the wild.

The technique is called dazzling, and means confusing the predator or enemy by moving a conspicuous pattern. The prey or target is visible, but hard to hit. So if you’re somewhat insecure, here’s a good way to cloak your feelings. Join the herd and subscribe to the lifestyle. It will be harder for everyone to figure out you’re a jerk…. Perhaps this whole pastel disaster is just some sort of coping mechanism?

Are you coming to the mixer? It’s gonna be a rager!!

At an institution like college that is purposed specifically for ‘higher learning’ you’d think one of these bros would look around and be like “Hey, we all look like idiots.” I would imagine because of the pack mentality no one ever deviates from the preexisting norm, and if one does he’s quickly sent out into the wild away from the herd. Usually out to take office in the Student Council which they try and make cool, but it never really happens.

I think I was more aware of the fratsters this time on GT’s campus due to the news out recently about the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity at the University of Tennessee. It was indefinitely suspended and their charter was revoked for giving their pledges alcohol enemas sending one to the hospital in critical condition with a .4 BAC. What pray tell, is an alcohol enema? Apparently it’s all the rage these days and is commonly called “Butt Chugging” In the Pike’s case; they had taken boxed wine and had their pledges ingest the alcohol via their rectums by inserting a tube into their anus. Sounds gross, yes, and it is also be lethal.

I’m hoping this is an isolated case, but I get the feeling that this flavor of hazing is not unprecedented.  It goes without saying that any organization that forces you to risk your life by consuming alcohol with your ass is not worth the implicated price they are asking. I would assume that with a national news story getting out about this ‘Butt Chugging’ should become a thing of the past, and like shark bite news, but I think once there is one story out about something this weird there’s usually, at least, 3 more on the cusp of breaking.

Please don’t give me a Franzia enema

I find that within fraternities, the thought process that seeps through all of the members tends to be one homogenous agenda. With very few exceptions (yes I have in fact met and befriended fratsters), frats follow a pack mentality and any individuality including one’s own moral compass is forgone for a personality that has been predestined for its members. BUT  your  new personality may come with a nickname like “Laser” so at least there’s that.

College should be an awesome time where you feel free to be exactly who you are. I find that most fraternities don’t allow that kind of hippy talk, but know this: If you’re thinking for yourself, and creating your own style you won’t have to worry about some dude who doesn’t have your best interest at heart and is putting you at risk. I’m going to venture a guess that you’ll always be happier drinking beverages using the hole on your face than being forced to use the one in your ass.

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  1. Matt
    December 30, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    Sounds like someone didn’t a get a bid

    • Kenn
      July 2, 2013 at 3:46 am

      ^^^lmao

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