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The First Time I Got Drunk…And Threw Up

December 27, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Everybody started drinking alcohol at different ages in their life.  Some started in college once they were away from their parents.  Others started their senior year of high school, maybe on graduation night or after they got accepted into college.  I started much younger.  My first taste of liquor came in 8th grade.   My friends and I would sit in a basement and trade shots of tequila mixed with orange juice, apple juice, stupid stuff like that.  And this was the bottom of the barrel type of tequila.  I will readily admit I had no idea what I was doing.  We would sometimes get tired of liquor and switch to beer.  The first beer I ever drank was Red Dog.  Remember those commercials, the ones with Tommy Lee Jones as the spokesman/voiceover?

Amazingly I never really got drunk.  It all tasted so terrible I never drank enough quick enough.  That all changed my freshman year of high school.

It is no secret that most kids who drink earlier in life have an older sibling.  That older sibling gives them access to alcohol, cigarettes, etc.  Now my brother is 3 years older than me, so my freshman year was also his senior year of high school.  So guess what that means.  High school graduation parties.  Strange as it is, besides getting hammered themselves, it seems that older siblings and their friends also enjoy getting their younger brothers and sisters ridiculously drunk.  That is just what my brother did the spring of 1997.

His friend had a graduation party at his house and it was a pretty sweet setup.  They had a huge party tent in the back yard with kegs.  There was a fridge and coolers full of beer in the basement and there was a sizeable crowd.  When I showed up with my brother I really wasn’t sure what was going to happen.  I knew his friends well and we all got along but for some reason I knew this night would be different.  It didn’t take long for me to find out how different.

I had never done a keg stand before.  I wasn’t sure what to expect, but hey it looked like fun.  You know what isn’t fun?  Being held upside down for what feels like 10 minutes while some guy stands next to you holding a stopwatch screaming to the rest of the crow how long you can last.  For sake of pride you try to push yourself to last longer than the person before you.  I don’t remember my time and I didn’t hear people boo after I was finished, so I guess I did ok.  Did I mention the keg was full of Bud Ice?  After that let’s just say I was a lot friendlier to everyone around me.  I wasn’t exactly drunk yet, but I had loosened up.  That would also be the last time I would walk around without a beer in my hand.  I think my brother and his friends played a game that night that involved giving me a fresh beer any time my hands were empty, and me not being aware of my alcohol limit I was happy to take the new beer and drink it.  Did I mention that the beer in my hand was Bud Ice?

One funny thing about being the younger drunk sibling at a party is that people notice you.  Not because you are cool but more like you are a circus animal that intrigues them.  Random guys come up and give you high fives, girls you have never met give you hugs (or maybe I was hugging them and they were uncomfortable).  I had one girl sit on my lap for about 10 minutes just chatting away about who knows what.  I really couldn’t imagine the party getting any better, and I was right.

I soon became the errand boy for my brother’s friends.  To this day I am not sure why the cooler of beer was in the basement of the house instead of outside.  When someone finished their beer it became my job to go inside, grab more out of the cooler and bring them back.  I also felt it necessary to get a beer for myself each time, a term you can affectionately call a “road beer”.  Well, all that back and forth coupled with my drinking started to take its toll.  My brother was nowhere to be found (more on that later) and I was sent on another mission to retrieve some beers from the basement.  It must have been apparent that I was not in good shape because one of my brother’s friends followed me into the basement and was trying to get me to lay down, drink a glass of water, essentially do anything other than keep drinking.  I ended up collapsing on the couch next to the beer cooler, not wanting to do anything but wait out the sudden spinning room and flip flopping of my stomach.  At that point my brother’s friend told me that I needed to get to a bathroom because it looked like I was going to throw up.  I told him that was unnecessary, and when he asked why I responded that I instead was going to throw up right there…all over the cooler of beer.

The rest of the night is pretty hazy, I remember lying on the floor, someone giving me a blanket and glass of water, a few people yelling at me after they came into the basement to get more beer and saw the cooler covered in my vomit.  I woke up the next morning surprisingly with no hangover.  I also found out that my brother had actually thrown up at the same time I did, just outside instead of in the basement like me.  I am not sure how that timing worked out but I have always thought that was strange.  As we got our stuff together and headed home one of my brother’s friends came up to me and asked why I drank so much at the party.  After all, he said, the beer was Bud Ice.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. BC
    December 27, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    Haha…I do believe it was Milwaukee’s Best Light (aka The Beast) for me!

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